How I Stopped Gaslighting My Intuition

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And how you can begin trusting your own voice again.

There was a time when I didn’t trust anything that came from inside me.

Not my instincts.
Not my feelings.
Not even the quiet whisper that something wasn’t right.

I grew up in a conservative church in the Midwest—where obedience was praised, and doubt was punished.
We were told to trust God.
Trust scripture.
Trust authority.

But trust ourselves?
That was dangerous.
Because what if that still, small voice inside you… was really the enemy in disguise?

So I learned to override myself.
To silence my knowing.
To second-guess everything I felt in my gut.
And when you do that long enough?
You don’t just lose your voice.
You lose your relationship with it.

💔 How Self-Abandonment Gets Conditioned

Psychologists call this externalized authority conditioning—when you’re taught to trust everyone but yourself.
It happens when:

• You apologize for setting boundaries.
  
  

• You doubt your decisions unless they’re validated.
  
  

• You suppress discomfort to make others feel okay.
  
  

Over time, this conditioning severs your connection to a powerful tool:
Interoception.
That’s your body’s ability to detect and interpret your inner signals—hunger, fear, joy, danger, desire.

When that connection gets cut, you may start to feel anxious, burned out, or even numb.

Not because you’re broken.
But because you’ve been taught to ignore the one voice that actually knows you best.

🔁 My Real Turning Point Wasn’t a Lightning Bolt

It wasn’t one grand awakening.
It was a thousand tiny moments of dissonance.

Times when I said yes but meant no.
When I smiled and nodded while my chest screamed “get out.”
When I chased someone else’s idea of a good life—
and felt emptier the closer I got to it.

Eventually, I stopped asking, “Is this what I’m supposed to want?”
And started asking, “What would feel true?”

That’s when everything began to shift.

🧠 The Science of Inner Knowing (and Why We Lose It)

Neuroscience shows that chronic suppression of emotion and instinct weakens interoception—making it harder to trust your gut, regulate your nervous system, or feel at home in your own life.

But here’s the good news:

You can rebuild that connection.
You can come back to yourself.

It starts small.
With curiosity.
With quiet.
With choosing to listen before overriding.

🌿 Your Intuition Isn’t Dangerous. It’s Divine.

If you’ve been told your voice is too loud, too emotional, too complicated, too wrong…

Please hear this:

You are allowed to trust yourself again.
You are allowed to change your mind.
You are allowed to know what’s true for you—even if no one else understands it.

Your voice was never the problem.
The systems that taught you to silence it were.

🎧 Want to Go Deeper?

I recorded a podcast episode to walk you through this:
🎙️ Episode 12: Listening to the Voice You Keep Ignoring

It’s the story of how I started hearing my intuition again after years of spiritual fear, perfectionism, and people-pleasing.
It’s tender. It’s honest. It’s yours if you need it.

🖊️ Want a space to rebuild that trust gently?
The [LTS Journal: Know] is where I started writing myself home.
Maybe it’s where you start listening again, too.

💬 Let’s Keep the Conversation Going

Come say hi over on Instagram → [@lovethyselfies]
Tell me:

What part of you are you learning to trust again?

You’re not broken.
You’re not behind.
You’re remembering.

And the voice inside you?
She’s not crazy.
She’s calling you home.

With love,
xo, Melissa