Jul 12, 2025

The Book That Gave Me Permission to Feel It All

Your body has been trying to tell you something. Are you finally ready to listen?

For years, I lived from the neck up. My body was just a vehicle for my brain—something to fuel with caffeine, push through exhaustion, and ignore when it whispered inconvenient truths about rest, boundaries, or what I actually needed.

I prided myself on being "rational." On making decisions based on logic, not feelings. On pushing through discomfort and calling it strength. What I didn't realize was that I wasn't being strong—I was being disconnected. And that disconnection was costing me everything: my ability to trust myself, to follow through consistently, to know what I actually wanted instead of what I thought I should want.

Then I discovered Hillary L. McBride's The Wisdom of Your Body, and everything changed.

The Perfectionist's Guide to Bodily Disconnection

Let me paint you a picture of who I was before this book found me. I was the queen of shoulds. I should exercise more, eat better, wake up earlier, be more productive, feel more grateful. My entire life was a never-ending improvement project, and my body was the stubborn employee that kept failing to meet my impossible standards.

I treated my body like a machine that wasn't performing optimally rather than a wise system trying to guide me home to myself.

When I was anxious, I'd tell myself to "think positive." When I was exhausted, I'd reach for another coffee. When my stomach clenched during certain conversations, I'd ignore it and power through. When my shoulders carried tension like armor, I'd book a massage to "fix" the problem rather than ask what the tension was trying to tell me.

I was so disconnected from my body's wisdom that I couldn't tell the difference between hunger and anxiety, between excitement and stress, between my intuition saying "yes" and my people-pleasing saying "yes."

This disconnection showed up everywhere. I'd commit to things that felt wrong in my body, then wonder why I couldn't follow through. I'd set goals based on what looked good on paper, then struggle with motivation when my nervous system resisted. I'd make decisions from my head while my gut screamed warnings I couldn't hear.

The Book That Changed Everything

When I picked up The Wisdom of Your Body, I thought I was getting a book about body image or self-acceptance. What I got instead was a complete framework for understanding how embodied living is the foundation of everything else—self-trust, emotional intelligence, authentic decision-making, and sustainable action.

McBride's central premise blew my mind: your body isn't just the container for your life—it's the wisest guide you'll ever have.

She writes: "Your body is not a problem to be solved. It is not a machine to be optimized. It is the home of your wisdom, the keeper of your truth, and the most reliable guide to living an authentic life."

Reading those words felt like coming home to a part of myself I'd abandoned years ago.

The Science of Embodied Wisdom

What makes McBride's work so powerful is that it's not just spiritual platitudes—it's backed by solid neuroscience and psychology research.

Interoception: Your Internal Compass

Dr. A.D. Craig's research on interoception—the ability to sense internal bodily signals—reveals that people with better interoceptive awareness make better decisions, have stronger emotional regulation, and report higher life satisfaction.

Your body is constantly generating information about:

What feels safe vs. threatening
What energizes vs. depletes you
What aligns with your values vs. what conflicts with them
What you need vs. what you think you should need

But if you're not trained to listen, you miss this constant stream of wisdom.

The Gut-Brain Connection

Research by Dr. Beatrice de Gelder shows that our "gut feelings" are actually sophisticated information processing systems. The enteric nervous system (the neural network in your digestive system) processes information and sends signals to your brain before you're consciously aware of them.

That knot in your stomach during a difficult conversation? That's not anxiety to be dismissed—it's information to be honored.

Polyvagal Theory and Body Wisdom

Dr. Stephen Porges' Polyvagal Theory explains how our autonomic nervous system constantly evaluates safety through what he calls "neuroception"—unconscious detection of safety or threat cues.

Your body knows whether a person, situation, or decision feels safe long before your conscious mind figures it out. Learning to listen to these signals isn't just self-care—it's survival wisdom.

Embodied Cognition Research

Studies in embodied cognition show that our physical sensations directly influence our thoughts, emotions, and decisions. Research by Dr. Amy Cuddy demonstrates that changing your posture literally changes your hormone levels and confidence. Dr. John Bargh's work shows that physical warmth increases feelings of interpersonal warmth.

Your body and mind aren't separate systems—they're one integrated system of wisdom.

My Personal Embodiment Journey

Reading McBride's book gave me permission to start an experiment: What would happen if I treated my body as a source of wisdom rather than a problem to be managed?

Learning the Language of Sensation

I started with something McBride calls "somatic check-ins"—regular moments of asking my body what it needed and actually listening to the answer.

At first, the responses were simple:

Water when I thought I needed food
Movement when I thought I needed rest
Quiet when I thought I needed stimulation
Connection when I thought I needed productivity

But as I got better at listening, the wisdom got more sophisticated.

The Decision-Making Revolution

The biggest shift came when I started including my body in decision-making. Before saying yes to opportunities, I'd check: How does this feel in my body?

Expansion and lightness usually meant yes
Contraction and heaviness usually meant no or not yet
Confusion in my body often meant I needed more information

This wasn't about being impulsive—it was about accessing a form of intelligence I'd been trained to ignore.

Breaking the Perfectionism-Body Disconnection Cycle

McBride's work helped me understand how perfectionism and bodily disconnection feed each other. When you're disconnected from your body, you lose access to your internal sense of "enough." Without that internal compass, you become dependent on external validation and endless improvement.

But when you're connected to your body's wisdom, you can feel when something is complete, when you need rest, when you're operating from authenticity vs. performance.

The Missing Link to Consistent Follow-Through

Here's what nobody tells you about consistency and follow-through: it's not about willpower or discipline. It's about alignment.

When you make commitments that your body wisdom supports, follow-through becomes natural. When you set goals that feel good in your nervous system, motivation flows easily. When you honor your body's rhythms and needs, you have sustainable energy for what matters.

The Somatic Yes vs. The Mental Yes

I learned to distinguish between different types of "yes":

Mental Yes: Makes logical sense but feels heavy or forced in the body Somatic Yes: Feels expansive, energizing, and aligned in your entire system

People-Pleasing Yes: Feels tight and obligatory, often accompanied by resentment Authentic Yes: Feels generous and wholehearted, even if it's challenging

Learning this distinction revolutionized my ability to commit to things I could actually sustain.

Micro-Commitments Based on Body Wisdom

Instead of making grand plans based on what I thought I "should" do, I started making micro-commitments based on what felt sustainable in my body:

Instead of "I'll work out for an hour every day," I'd ask "What movement feels good today?"
Instead of "I'll wake up at 5 AM every morning," I'd check "What sleep schedule feels nourishing this week?"
Instead of "I'll write for two hours daily," I'd inquire "How much creative energy do I actually have right now?"

These body-based commitments were smaller but infinitely more sustainable.

Emotional Intelligence Through Embodiment

McBride's approach taught me that emotional intelligence isn't about managing or controlling emotions—it's about learning their language and honoring their wisdom.

Emotions as Information, Not Problems

Instead of trying to "fix" difficult emotions, I learned to ask:

What is this emotion trying to tell me?
What does my body need right now?
What boundary or change is this feeling pointing toward?
How can I honor this emotion while still taking care of myself?

The Body Scan Practice

One of the most transformative practices from the book is the daily body scan—a gentle check-in with different parts of your body to notice what they're holding and what they need.

This isn't just relaxation (though it is relaxing). It's intelligence gathering. Your shoulders might be holding the stress of overcommitment. Your jaw might be clenched from unexpressed anger. Your stomach might be tight from a decision that doesn't feel right.

Building Self-Trust Through Somatic Awareness

Self-trust isn't built through perfect performance—it's built through honoring your internal experience and responding with care.

Every time you:

Listen to your body's need for rest and honor it
Notice a gut feeling about someone and pay attention to it
Feel expansion around an opportunity and lean into it
Sense contraction around a commitment and examine it

You're building evidence that you can trust your internal guidance system.

The Wisdom of Boundaries

McBride's work helped me understand that boundaries aren't walls you build against others—they're information your body gives you about what you need to stay in integrity with yourself.

That uncomfortable feeling when someone asks too much of you? That's boundary information. The way your energy shifts around certain people? That's relationship data. The physical relief you feel when you say no to something that doesn't serve you? That's alignment confirmation.

The Ripple Effects of Embodied Living

As I learned to trust my body's wisdom, everything else began to shift:

Decision-Making: Faster, more aligned choices that I could sustain Relationships: Clearer boundaries and more authentic connections Work: Projects that energized rather than depleted me Health: Eating, moving, and resting based on what my body actually needed Creativity: Access to intuitive insights and creative flow states

But the biggest shift was in my relationship with myself. I stopped being a mind trying to control a body and became an integrated human being living from wholeness.

Practical Embodiment for Modern Life

The 3-Minute Body Check-In

Several times a day, pause and ask:

What is my body telling me right now?
What do I need in this moment?
How does this decision/situation feel in my body?
Where am I holding tension, and what might it be about?

The Expansion/Contraction Test

Before making decisions, notice:

Does this create a sense of opening and lightness?
Or does it create closing and heaviness?
Does my breathing become deeper or shallower?
Do I feel more energized or more drained?

Honoring the Wisdom of "No"

Your body's "no" is sacred information. Practice honoring it even when it's inconvenient, even when it disappoints others, even when it doesn't make logical sense.

Creating Somatic Safety

Build practices that help your nervous system feel safe:

Regular movement that feels good
Breathing practices that regulate your system
Environments that support your wellbeing
Relationships that honor your full humanity

The Permission You've Been Waiting For

If you've been living from the neck up, treating your body like a machine, or dismissing your emotional and somatic experiences as irrelevant—this is your permission slip to come home to your full wisdom.

Your body isn't broken. Your emotions aren't problems. Your need for rest, connection, movement, and nourishment isn't weakness. Your embodied experience is the most sophisticated guidance system you'll ever have access to.

Hillary McBride writes: "You are not a problem to be solved. You are a mystery to be lived."

Living that mystery requires listening to all of yourself—not just the parts that seem rational or acceptable or productive.

Your Invitation to Embodied Living

If this resonates with you, if you're ready to rebuild trust with your body and emotions, if you're tired of making decisions from your head while your wisdom lives in your whole being—start small.

Start with one somatic check-in per day. Start with noticing how decisions feel in your body. Start with honoring one "no" that feels true even if it doesn't make sense.

Your body has been trying to tell you something. Your emotions have been offering you guidance. Your nervous system has been sending you signals about what's safe, what's nourishing, what's aligned.

Are you finally ready to listen?

The wisdom you've been seeking isn't in another book, another course, another expert. It's in the body you've been living in all along.

Welcome home.

If you're ready to rebuild trust with your body's wisdom and create sustainable change from the inside out, the Quantum Leap journal guides you through similar somatic check-ins to help you build self-trust and identity-based action from your embodied intelligence.

References

McBride, H. L. (2021). The Wisdom of Your Body: Finding Healing, Wholeness, and Connection through Embodied Living. Brazos Press.
Craig, A. D. (2009). How do you feel—now? The anterior insula and human awareness. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 10(1), 59-70.
de Gelder, B. (2006). Towards the neurobiology of emotional body language. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 7(3), 242-249.
Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.
Cuddy, A. (2015). Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges. Little, Brown and Company.
Bargh, J. A., & Shalev, I. (2012). The substitutability of physical and social warmth in daily life. Emotion, 12(1), 154-162.
van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.
Levine, P. A. (1997). Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma. North Atlantic Books.