The Permission Slip You've Been Waiting For: Why Your Desires Are Sacred Assignments

Your desires aren't accidents—they're assignments from your soul.

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "That would be nice for other people, but people like me don't get to have that"? Do you find yourself waiting for someone to give you permission to want what you want, to dream what you dream, to go after what actually calls to your soul?

If so, this is the permission slip you've been waiting for. What if your deepest desires aren't random wishful thinking? What if they're actually your soul's GPS, pointing you toward the life you're meant to live?

The Dream I Almost Didn't Pursue

For years, I had this recurring fantasy about what my ideal life would look like. I'd picture myself working from anywhere, having meaningful conversations with people around the world, creating content that actually helped others, and building something that felt like it mattered.

But every time this vision would surface, I'd immediately shut it down.

"That's not realistic," I'd tell myself. "People like you don't get to have location independence. You need to be grateful for the stable job you have. You're being selfish and impractical. Who are you to think you deserve that kind of freedom?"

I had created this elaborate story about why my desires were inappropriate, unrealistic, or somehow morally wrong. I convinced myself that wanting more than what I had was ungrateful, that dreaming bigger was arrogant, that pursuing what I actually wanted was a luxury I couldn't afford.

So I stayed in jobs that drained me, lived in places that didn't inspire me, and told myself I was being responsible and mature. Meanwhile, that vision kept showing up in my mind like a persistent friend knocking on a door I refused to open.

The Question That Changed Everything

The turning point came during a conversation with my mentor. I was complaining about feeling stuck and unfulfilled, and she asked, "What do you actually want?"

Without thinking, I described my recurring vision in detail—the freedom, the meaningful work, the sense of purpose.

When I finished, she looked at me and said, "So why aren't you doing that?"

I immediately launched into my list of reasons why it wasn't possible, wasn't realistic, wasn't for people like me.

She stopped me mid-sentence and said something that changed everything: "What if those desires weren't put in your heart to torture you? What if they were put there to guide you? What if the reason you can't stop thinking about that life is because it's the life you're supposed to be living?"

I stared at her, feeling something shift inside me. I had been treating my desires like enemies to be defeated rather than messengers to be trusted. I had been asking permission to want what I wanted from people who had never lived the life I was dreaming of.

That conversation was three years ago. I'm now living a version of that "unrealistic" dream, working from different countries, having exactly the kind of meaningful conversations I used to fantasize about, creating work that feels aligned with my purpose.

But the most important shift wasn't external—it was internal. I learned to see my desires as sacred information rather than selfish delusions.

The Science Behind Sacred Desires

Research reveals why we've been taught to distrust our desires and what happens when we honor them instead.

Authentic Desires Align With Your Design

Dr. Edward Deci and Dr. Richard Ryan's research on intrinsic motivation reveals that our deepest, most persistent desires often align with our core values and natural talents. When we ignore these desires, we're essentially ignoring information about how we're designed to contribute to the world.

Studies show that people who pursue intrinsically motivated goals report higher life satisfaction and lower rates of depression.

Your Brain's Seeking System Knows What It's Doing

Neuroscientist Dr. Jaak Panksepp's work on "seeking behavior" shows that the desire system in our brains is fundamental to motivation and wellbeing. When we suppress our authentic desires, we literally suppress our brain's reward and motivation systems, leading to depression and a sense of meaninglessness.

Flow States Follow Authentic Interests

Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's research on flow states reveals that we experience peak satisfaction when we're engaged in activities that align with our intrinsic interests and natural abilities. These activities often correspond to our deepest desires, suggesting that our wanting system is actually guiding us toward experiences where we can thrive.

Authentic vs. Programmed Wanting

Dr. Tim Kasser's studies show that desires imposed by society—like pursuing wealth for status or careers for others' approval—lead to lower wellbeing. But desires that arise from our authentic selves, even when they seem impractical, tend to lead to greater fulfillment when pursued.

Your Psyche Is Trying to Guide You

Dr. Carl Jung's work on individuation suggests that our desires, especially the ones that persist despite external discouragement, are often signals from what he called the "Self"—the part of us that knows our authentic path. Ignoring these signals leads to what Jung termed "neurosis"—a sense of being disconnected from our true nature.

We Regret What We Don't Pursue

Research on "regret theory" by psychologists like Dr. Thomas Gilovich shows that people are more likely to regret things they didn't do than things they did do, especially when it comes to pursuing authentic desires. The pain of not pursuing what calls to us often exceeds the temporary discomfort of going after it.

The Cost of Desire Suppression

Studies show that people who regularly suppress their authentic desires experience higher rates of anxiety, depression, and what researchers call "existential emptiness"—a sense that life lacks meaning and direction.

Research on "goal concordance"—the alignment between our pursued goals and our authentic values and interests—shows that people who pursue goal-concordant desires experience what researchers call "eudaimonic wellbeing"—a deep sense of meaning and fulfillment that comes from living authentically.

Dr. Abraham Maslow's research on self-actualization reveals that our highest human need is to become who we're meant to be. This process requires honoring our authentic desires rather than conforming to others' expectations about what we should want.

How to Honor Your Sacred Assignments

Conduct a Desire Audit

Get honest about what you really want:

• What dreams do you keep having that you dismiss as unrealistic?
• What lifestyle, work, or relationships do you fantasize about?
• What desires do you feel ashamed or guilty for having?
• What would you pursue if you knew no one would judge you?

Practice Permission-Giving

Stop asking for permission and start giving it to yourself:

• Write yourself a literal permission slip to want what you want
• Practice saying "I want..." without immediately following it with "but..."
• Share your desires with supportive people without asking for their approval
• Take one small action toward a desire this week, even if it feels impractical

Distinguish Authentic from Programmed Desires

Authentic desires:

• Feel energizing and life-giving
• Persist despite obstacles
• Align with your values
• Make you feel more like yourself

Programmed wants:

• Feel empty when achieved
• Change based on others' opinions
• Create anxiety and pressure
• Make you feel like you should be someone else

Bust Your "Buts"

Notice how you dismiss your desires:

• "I want to travel the world, but it's not practical"
• "I want to start my own business, but I need security"
• "I want to write a book, but I'm not qualified"

Practice removing the "but" and sitting with the pure desire. The "how" will reveal itself when you stop arguing with the "what."

Reframe Your Desires as Sacred Information

Instead of: "This desire is selfish and unrealistic" Try: "This desire is information about my purpose and potential"

Instead of: "I shouldn't want more than what I have" Try: "My desires are guiding me toward my next level of growth"

Instead of: "Other people don't get to have this, so neither should I" Try: "I'm meant to model what's possible for others who share this dream"

Your Soul's Assignment System

The desires that keep showing up in your heart, the dreams that won't leave you alone, the visions that make you feel most alive—these aren't cosmic jokes or cruel teases. They're sacred information about who you're meant to become and what you're meant to contribute.

You don't need anyone's permission to want what you want. You don't need to justify your dreams to people who haven't lived your life or walked your path. You don't need to prove that your desires are worthy before you're allowed to pursue them.

Your soul didn't give you those dreams to torture you—it gave them to you to guide you. Every time you feel that pull toward something meaningful, something expansive, something that makes you feel most like yourself, that's not wishful thinking. That's your inner GPS pointing you toward your authentic path.

The Sacred Yes Practice

This week, say yes to one thing that aligns with your authentic desires, even if it's small:

• Sign up for a class related to your dream
• Have a conversation about your vision
• Take a step toward a goal you've been postponing
• Invest in something that supports your desired direction

Your Permission Slip

Stop asking "Am I allowed to want this?" and start asking "How can I honor what my heart is telling me?" Stop waiting for permission from others and start giving it to yourself.

The world needs what you're dreaming of creating. The world needs the version of you that emerges when you finally say yes to your soul's assignments. The world needs you to model what becomes possible when someone trusts their desires deeply enough to pursue them.

You have permission. You've always had permission. The only signature you need on your permission slip is your own.

Your desires aren't accidents—they're assignments from your soul. And it's time to start taking them seriously.

The dreams that won't leave you alone aren't there to torment you. They're there to transform you—and through you, to transform the world.

Ready to stop asking permission and start honoring your soul's assignments? Your authentic desires are waiting for you to take them seriously.

References

1. Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). The 'what' and 'why' of goal pursuits: Human needs and the self-determination of behavior. Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227-268.

2. Kasser, T. (2002). The High Price of Materialism. MIT Press.

3. Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. Harper & Row.

4. Panksepp, J. (1998). Affective Neuroscience: The Foundations of Human and Animal Emotions. Oxford University Press.

5. Sheldon, K. M., & Elliot, A. J. (1999). Goal striving, need satisfaction, and longitudinal well-being: The self-concordance model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76(3), 482-497.

6. Jung, C. G. (1969). The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious. Princeton University Press.

7. Gilovich, T., & Medvec, V. H. (1995). The experience of regret: What, when, and why. Psychological Review, 102(2), 379-395.

8. Maslow, A. H. (1968). Toward a Psychology of Being. Van Nostrand Reinhold.