Jul 24, 2025

Your Nervous System as CEO: Making Decisions from Safety, Not Survival

Your nervous system is your internal boardroom. Make sure the right voice is running the meeting.

Have you ever made a decision you later regretted when you were stressed, anxious, or triggered? Do you wonder why you keep choosing from fear even when you logically know better? If so, you're about to discover the keys to your internal boardroom.

Every decision you make is influenced by the state of your nervous system. And when survival mode is running the meeting, you don't get access to your wisest, most creative, most aligned choices.

The Worst Business Decision I Ever Made

Two years ago, I was offered what looked like an incredible opportunity—a partnership that would have doubled my income overnight. On paper, it was perfect. The terms were good, the potential was huge, and everyone around me was telling me I'd be crazy not to take it.

But something felt off. Not in a logical way—I couldn't point to any red flags or specific concerns. It was more like a subtle tension in my chest, a heaviness in my stomach, a whisper of "this isn't right" that I kept dismissing as fear of success or impostor syndrome.

Here's what I should have paid attention to: I had been in chronic stress mode for months. I was overworked, under-rested, and operating from a place of scarcity that made any opportunity feel like my last chance. My nervous system was in survival mode, scanning for threats and desperately seeking safety through external validation and financial security.

When I was making this decision, I wasn't accessing my intuition or my strategic thinking. I was operating from what I now know was my sympathetic nervous system—the part that's designed for immediate action in the face of danger. This system is brilliant for escaping predators, but terrible for making long-term business decisions.

I said yes to the partnership from this dysregulated state, ignoring the quiet voice that was trying to warn me. Within three months, it became clear that the partnership was completely misaligned with my values, my vision, and my authentic way of working.

Getting out of that partnership cost me six months of stress, legal fees, and rebuilding my reputation. But the real cost was learning not to trust my own judgment because I had made such an "obviously good" opportunity into a disaster.

That's when I started studying nervous system regulation not just for general wellness, but specifically for decision-making.

The Three States of Your Internal Boardroom

I learned that my nervous system has different "states," and each state has access to different types of intelligence.

Dr. Stephen Porges' Polyvagal Theory reveals that we have three main nervous system states:

1. Sympathetic State (Fight-or-Flight)

What it provides: Immediate action and threat detection
What it blocks: Strategic thinking, creativity, intuition
Decision quality: Fear-based, focused on immediate safety
When you're here: Racing heart, shallow breathing, black-and-white thinking, urgency

2. Dorsal Vagal State (Freeze/Collapse)

What it provides: Conservation mode, shutdown for protection
What it blocks: Information processing, action, clear thinking
Decision quality: Can't make decisions at all, or defaults to familiar patterns
When you're here: Overwhelmed, numb, disconnected, wanting to avoid decisions

3. Ventral Vagal State (Social Engagement)

What it provides: Creativity, empathy, strategic thinking, authentic self-expression
What it blocks: Nothing—this is your optimal decision-making state
Decision quality: Values-aligned, strategic, intuitive
When you're here: Calm breathing, grounded, present, curious rather than urgent

Now I have a practice: before any major decision, I regulate my nervous system first. I make sure the CEO of my inner boardroom is my wisest, most regulated self, not my panicked survival brain.

The Neuroscience of Decision-Making

Research reveals exactly why nervous system regulation is crucial for good choices.

Your Body Knows Before Your Mind Does

Dr. Antonio Damasio's research on somatic markers shows that our bodies generate emotional signals about potential outcomes before our conscious mind processes them. These "gut feelings" are actually sophisticated risk assessment calculations happening below the level of consciousness.

But we can only access this wisdom when our nervous system is regulated enough to feel these subtle signals.

Stress Shuts Down Your Best Thinking

Neuroscientist Dr. Matthew Lieberman's research shows that when we're in chronic stress, the prefrontal cortex—responsible for executive function, planning, and values-based decision-making—goes offline. Instead, decisions get made by more primitive brain regions focused on immediate survival rather than thriving.

Decision Fatigue Defaults to Survival

Dr. Roy Baumeister's research on "decision fatigue" reveals that when our nervous system is in chronic stress, our decision-making capacity becomes depleted much faster. We default to what psychologists call "system 1 thinking"—automatic, habitual responses rather than conscious, strategic choices.

Your Brain Predicts Based on Your State

Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett's work on predictive processing reveals that our nervous system is constantly generating predictions about what's going to happen next based on past experiences. When we're dysregulated, these predictions are biased toward threat detection, making us more likely to choose options that feel safe in the short term but may not serve our long-term goals.

Regulation Improves All Decision Domains

Research on "embodied decision-making" shows that people who practice body awareness and nervous system regulation make better decisions across multiple domains—financial, relational, and career choices. They're more likely to choose options that align with their values and long-term goals rather than reacting to immediate circumstances.

Your Nervous System Decision-Making Protocol

Here's the step-by-step process I now use for every important decision:

Step 1: Pause and Assess

Before any significant decision, ask: "What state is my nervous system in right now?"

Sympathetic (Fight-or-Flight) Signs:

Racing heart, shallow breathing
Feeling urgent, pressured, or panicked
Black-and-white thinking
Focusing on what could go wrong
Need to make decisions immediately

Dorsal Vagal (Freeze/Collapse) Signs:

Feeling overwhelmed, numb, or disconnected
Difficulty thinking clearly
Wanting to avoid making any decisions
Feeling hopeless about options
Physical heaviness or fatigue

Ventral Vagal (Social Engagement) Signs:

Calm, deep breathing
Feeling grounded and present
Ability to see multiple perspectives
Access to creativity and intuition
Sense of curiosity rather than urgency

Step 2: Regulate First

If you're not in ventral vagal state, use regulation techniques before deciding:

4-4-6 breathing: Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 6
Progressive muscle relaxation
Gentle movement or stretching
Connection with safe people
Time in nature

Step 3: Access Your Inner CEO

Once regulated, ask:

What does my intuition say about this?
What choice aligns with my values?
What would I choose if I weren't afraid?
What option creates expansion rather than contraction?

Step 4: Check Your Timeline

Am I making this decision from urgency or from thoughtfulness?
Do I actually need to decide right now?
What would change if I waited until I felt more regulated?

The Body Wisdom Practice

Your regulated nervous system provides sophisticated guidance through what I call the Expansion vs. Contraction Test:

For each option you're considering:

Imagine choosing it and notice your body's response
Does it create a sense of opening, lightness, or energy?
Or does it create tension, heaviness, or constriction?
Trust expansion over contraction

This isn't just "following your gut"—it's accessing the sophisticated risk assessment system that Dr. Damasio's research shows operates below conscious awareness.

Advanced Decision-Making Tools

The 24-Hour Rule

For important decisions, commit to waiting 24 hours after your nervous system is regulated before choosing. This prevents reactive decisions made from survival states.

The Values Filter

When regulated, ask: "Which option most aligns with my core values?" Values-based decisions from a regulated state rarely lead to regret.

The Future Self Check

How would the version of me who already has what I want approach this decision?
What choice would my most evolved self make?
What decision would I be proud of in five years?

Decision-Making Red and Green Lights

Red Flags (Don't Decide Yet):

Notice when you're choosing from:

Fear of missing out
Need to prove something
Scarcity or desperation
Other people's expectations
Avoidance of discomfort

Green Lights (Safe to Decide):

Choose when you're feeling:

Grounded and present
Connected to your values
Curious about outcomes
Aligned with your authentic self
Trusting of your process

The Wisdom of Regulated Decision-Making

Studies on interoception—the ability to sense internal bodily signals—show that people with better interoceptive awareness make decisions that align more closely with their authentic values and lead to greater life satisfaction. But interoception requires a regulated nervous system to function properly.

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk's work reveals that people with dysregulated nervous systems often make choices that recreate familiar patterns, even when those patterns are harmful. The nervous system tends to choose the "known danger" over the "unknown safety" because predictability feels safer than uncertainty.

But when you regulate first, you break this pattern and gain access to choices that actually serve your growth and authentic expression.

Your Internal Boardroom

You have within you the most sophisticated decision-making technology ever created: your regulated nervous system connected to your authentic self.

You don't need more information, more opinions, or more strategies to make good choices. You need access to the wisdom that's already within you. And that access comes through regulation.

Every time you pause to regulate your nervous system before making a decision, you're choosing:

Wisdom over reactivity
Alignment over survival
Your authentic self over your scared self

Your nervous system is your internal boardroom, and you get to choose who's running the meeting. Is it your panicked survival brain, focused on immediate safety and worst-case scenarios? Or is it your wise, regulated CEO, connected to your values, your vision, and your authentic knowing?

The decisions that create the life you actually want don't come from forcing, strategizing, or overthinking. They come from getting quiet enough to hear your inner wisdom and regulated enough to trust it.

Your nervous system is not just a stress response—it's a guidance system. Your body is not just a vehicle—it's a compass. Your intuition is not just a feeling—it's intelligence.

Make sure the right voice is running the meeting in your internal boardroom.

Ready to make your nervous system the foundation of aligned decision-making? Your wisest choices are waiting for you to regulate first.

References

Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.
Damasio, A. (1994). Descartes' Error: Emotion, Reason, and the Human Brain. Putnam Publishing.
Baumeister, R. F., et al. (2007). The strength model of self-control. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 16(6), 351-355.
Barrett, L. F. (2017). How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
Lieberman, M. D. (2013). Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect. Crown Publishers.
Bechara, A., et al. (1997). Deciding advantageously before knowing the advantageous strategy. Science, 275(5304), 1293-1295.
van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Penguin Books.
Craig, A. D. (2009). How do you feel—now? The anterior insula and human awareness. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 10(1), 59-70.